a diatribe about swimwear

di·a·tribe

Definition of DIATRIBE

1. archaic : a prolonged discourse

2. : a bitter and abusive speech or piece of writing

3. : ironic or satirical criticism

Round One: Matronly Swimwear

Round Two: Innapropriate Swimwear

If neither of these options are acceptable, then what should one in my age bracket wear to water-oriented events? Well, I can tell from first hand experience, the options are limited.

So, when you see me this summer, looking like my grandma, you'll know why. I thought of the the two options--it was the better choice.